Values

I believe that the best way to understand someone is to understand their values. This page is an attempt to capture mine. What you read here is the result of a lot of introspection, and is a work in progress. The introspection was aided by a “values exercise” I found in Bury My Heart In Conference Room B by Stan Slap, and is an exercise I’ve been running for myself every year for the past 5 years.

5 values that most define me as a human being

  • Impact
  • Accomplishment
  • Family
  • Learning
  • Determination

3 Values that I can’t live without

Family

What it gives me that makes it so important:

  1. We celebrate each other
  2. We support each other when things go wrong
  3. We expect open and honest communication from each other
  4. We understand and accommodate each others styles and preferences
  5. Avoid ruinious empathy - we are willing to have difficult conversations with each other
  6. Push each other to be the best versions of ourselves

Impact

What it gives me that makes it so important:

  1. To know that I am doing work that matters
  2. The satisfaction from creating positive change in the world
  3. A sense of growth and progression
  4. A sense of success and accomplishment

Learning

What it gives me that makes it so important:

  1. Trying new things
  2. Becoming better than I was yesterday
  3. Intellectual stimulation
  4. Security that I am better prepared for the future
  5. Deriving wisdom and experiences from others - continuously expanding my worldview and the mental toolkit that I can draw from.

I am the most energized when my actions and behaviours are aligned with my values, or the values of the environment I am in (the people, the organization) are either compatible with my values or support my expression of these values.

I am the least energized when my actions and behaviours are in conflict with my values, either because I am operating from a place of fear, or because the environment I am in is not compatible with my values.

Human User Guide

My quirks

  • I am an introvert, but my introvert tendencies are balanced by my desire to help my colleagues and teams achieve great things
  • I have, what some people would describe as a “face with subtitles” - I would make a terrible poker player
  • I have a strong preference for written communication and ideation, even if it happens as a follow-up to a verbal conversation. As a result, I tend to produce richer and more thoughtful responses in writing than I do in conversation.

Qualities that I value in my colleagues

  • A willingness to collaborate, work together and lift each other up
  • A willingness to be candid in a way that is kind and respectful, even if it is tinged with frustration (I encourage everyone to read “Radical Candor” by Kim Scott and “Nonviolent Communication” by Marshall Rosenberg, to learn how to do this well)
  • Strong communication as a means to generating clarity and alignment for themselves and others
  • Self-awareness, especially of the boundaries of their own knowledge, blind spots, and biases
  • People who advocate for themselves and others, especially when it is difficult or uncomfortable to do so. I’ll do my best to assess your needs and support you, but I need you to tell me directly if I’m not seeing or doing something that is important to you

Things that bother me

  • Not being considerate of others time (e.g. being late to meetings, not responding to messages in a timely manner, ghosting), especially when it is more the norm than the exception
  • Lack of transparency, especially in decision-making and communication
  • Nitpicking and focusing on the wrong things, or insisting on a particular way of doing things without a good reason
  • Persistently negative attitudes, especially when they are not accompanied by a willingness to change or improve the situation - frustration is a useful signal, how can we channel it to change things?

My approach to coaching and guiding others

  • I like to start by understanding what the other person is trying to achieve, and what they are struggling with
  • I tend to ask a lot of questions, to help the other person think through their problem or challenge. This also helps me understand their thought process and the context of the problem
  • Aligning on how I can help, and taking the appropriate stance (e.g. coach, mentor, facilitator, sounding board)
  • Following-up, by helping the other person stay accountable (if that is what they want), or supporting them as the situation evolves

How I prefer to give and receive feedback

  • In private, if it is negative or critical - although there are certainly situations where something egregious is playing out in public, and it is important to address it immediately
  • Directly, instead of through intermediaries or back channels
  • As quickly as possible, and not weeks or months after the fact
  • Keep it simple, to the point and respectful - no need to sugarcoat it. Describe the situation, the observed behaviour and the impact it had on me / you / others. Ideally, describe what you would like to see instead, or what you would like to see more of